"My apple kicks your beef jerky's ass!"

Yep. Not much to say about this one. Inspired by the titled quote.

It's a homerun with your tastebuds!

What can I say about the pudding pop? This classic childhood treat made that long lunch-line wait worth all those flicked boogers. Yeah, we had a booger flicker, poor sonofabitch. It's one of those things Mr. Cosby should have addressed in his commercials, but didn't.

Sonic Safety Snore

When camping in the woods, avoiding being snatched by monsters should be priority one. The best way to achieve this is to be accompanied by a camper adept at producing a Sonic Safety Snore. The Safety Snore travels at a special frequency, which woodland monsters believe originates from an even bigger, hairier monster. Providing your designated Safety Snorer with a generous supply of Sonic Snore fuel ensures the strength and longevity of your campsite's protection.

Late-night Delivery + Chode = Splat

Don't be a chode!!!
Based on a true story featuring a 20 inch pizza and a group of chodes practicing organized chodery.

Monster Trucks vs. Unicorns

The epic battle continues.
Inspired by the legendary struggle between unicorns and monster trucks for the right to chauffeur Jesus around the planet. It's one of those stories you should have learned about in school, but didn't.